.Monday, May 17, 2010 ' 6:03 AM Y
tricia said,
When I see your smile
tears roll down my face.
I can't replace.
And now that I'm strong I have figured out
how this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul,
and I know I'll find deep inside me, I can be the one.
I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all,
even if saving you sends me to heaven.
It's ok...
It's ok...
It's ok...
Seasons are changing and waves are crashing
and stars are falling all for us
days grow longer and nights grow shorter
I can show you I'll be the one.
I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever.
I'll be there for you through it all,
even if saving you sends me to heaven.
Cause you're my
you're my, my,
my true love,
my whole heart,
please don't throw that away.
Cause I'm here, for you
please don't walk away and
please tell me you'll stay, stay..
Use me as you will
pull my strings just for a thrill
and I know I'll be okay
though my skies are turning gray.
I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
even if saving you sends me to heaven.
I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
even if saving you sends me to heaven.
Your Guardian Angel - Red apparatus jumpsuit
--
It just dawned unto me how hard it is to communicate with everyone around you, especially when you don't see them daily. I miss my secondary school friends, I miss those times in a single sex school. I miss my best friend. I miss everything I can possibly miss. It's not that I'm dreading the life I have now, other than the fact that it's, school, study study study, eat, study study, sleep. And it repeats, it's like a vicious cycle. If you don't study, you feel guilty, if you feel guilty, you get stressed. When you get stressed, you don't feel like studying. EPIC. HAHA. But guess what, I'm not that stressed after all. (:
I seriously miss those freedom that I used to have, and I actually miss swim trainings, no kidding. And, I miss going out with my clique. I really do. I mean, all the fun times that we had when we were in J1, no.. other things to stop us from going out as one big clique, instead of like, coupley coupley things. Sometimes, I feel super weird going out as a clique now and it's not even a clique, some people don't even go. It's like.. drifting apart. And it has definitely gotten more complicated when we came to J2. everyone's busy with their own lives, other than maybe me. Who's just, spending my time, studying. Sounds damn loserish luh, but OHWELLS. It's beneficial, I just have to keep telling myself that (: I'll pull through.
All the drama that happens in JC, it's just overwhelming sometimes. I wish I could turn back time, really, maybe if I walked through my life again, I'd choose my choices differently. Those foolish mistakes I've made, I promise myself, I'll never make them again. Maybe, I've just lost faith in certain things.. maybe, just maybe. And maybe, I'd never place any hope in it anymore.
.Friday, May 14, 2010 ' 6:40 AM Y
tricia said,
Been ages since I wrote a post.
I think I'm turning bimbo-ish. (:
BIMBO SYNDROME:
- shriek really loud and high pitch
- klutz
- stupid (I AM)
- colours make me happy
- happy endings make me happy
Okay, maybe I'm just a little too optimistic. But then again happiness is a state of mind. It's a choice that people make, it's your own choice. I think people nowadays, keep thinking the worst of something that happens. Is this the way we should live our lives? I don't think so, at least I won't live my life that way. (:
I'm just a little too happy, a little too patient, a little too crazy at times, but I think when it comes to important decisions, I think I tend to make right and sober ones(okay, I make mistakes sometimes). Well, it's just.. that we're faced with so many situations, choices and problems everyday, it feels overwhelming. I don't think I'm the only one.
Sometimes, I hear about the rantings of different people, and wonder, maybe, just maybe, if they decided to treat these situations in a different manner, look at it in a different perspective, they would feel so much better, or if they tried to find a way to solve it. Communication is the most important thing I feel, for any relationship to work out. Be it, friendship, family, love, whatever, as long as it concerns the feelings of two people, it has to be mutual and the other person has to know what you're thinking about. Even though I'm able to say this, I admit, that I am unable to voice out my thoughts and worries even if I have to. Really, I find it hard to express myself, especially to people I care most about, to people that I really love or really super concerned about. Even if I'm upset or anything, I'm just gonna keep it in. You wouldn't expect me to confront you and tell you why I'm upset, or like, expect me to tell you what you did to make me upset. Plus, for me, I feel that, as long as people around me are happy, that's enough for me. So what if I feel a little used, or a little unhappy, or a little discontented, would that make the other person happier if I told him/her that I was upset? For me, I think I'd rather keep it in. That's how I feel, that's how I hide my feelings so well, that's how people think I'm happy all the time. (usually I am, even if I'm not, you wouldn't know)
Anyway, I'm supposed to get off the computer, upon request. I shouldn't even be posting this, but procrastination has got into me, AGAIN. This is probably one of the "unwise" choice that I made, to blog instead of study. AWESOME.
1 week to midyears, my darlings (:
xx,