.Sunday, February 14, 2010 ' 8:44 AM Y
tricia said,
Okay, don't ask me why I'm writing this post, something in my head just told me to get it off my chest, like not literally of course.
This post, has no means of badmouthing or bitching about anyone or anything, even if it may sound like it.
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Okay, so after bearing the name of probably a super bitchy person (you'd probably think that way) for so long, I decided that, maybe it's good to leave it like that. Like, people ask me if I'm ever gonna clear up that misunderstanding, I said no, cause clearing up this misunderstanding would lead you to realise things that you thought would never happen, but guess what, cos' of the simple reason that I didn't want to cause you to have trouble in your friendship with your friend, I had to just keep silent, and let everyone put the blame on me. But still, you'd probably think it's my fault anyway. I tried explaining before, but you just shut me up. Thats why, I had to give up. I said I'll settle it my own way, and I did, but, I don't think it was effective anyway since I didn't know the cause, therefore no solution. Even if I was persistant, what could come out of it? I tried reasoning, I thought you knew me better than that, but now, i realised that in your opinion, I was just some self centered person who bitches about people.
I wanted to listen more, it just mean that I'd try to lessen your burdens. But still, whenever I tried to talk, something would just tell me to keep quiet, and just listen. Of all the things people said about you, i tried not to believe, but, you thought I was someone who'd present you in a negative light on purpose, someone who'd make everyone hate you. I really didn't. But you wouldn't believe me anyway. Someone said I was stupid to do that, but I don't think so. And since, I can't confide in any one, I had to write on my blog. It was just another avenue to write down how I felt, and not to defame anyone. It was only purely for the sake of writing down things that went through my head, things that I wanted you to know but I can't seem to say. Well, it doesn't matter anymore, cos' anyway, it wouldn't change anything right? I only wanted you to know, because, I don't want to make any enemies, and I really don't wna lose any of my friends. But ohwells, it doesn't matter anymore.. it really doesn't. Hopefully everything will just pass by in the blink of an eye. Someone should just give me something to forget everything [: it'd make life more bearable [:
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And, I say once again, that this post does not, DOES NOT, carry the intention of defaming anyone.
Goodnight world, it's time my brain rested and stopped thinking about things that wouldn't matter.