.Friday, November 13, 2009 ' 2:01 AM Y
tricia said,
And here I am, once again, with nothing much to do. Yes, it's the holidays once again. But this time, it's different. No more, going to school to study, no more, long bus rides, no more happy ever after. Yea, I guess not everything goes according to what we want them to be like. I hate myself for being like this. But if you ask me why? I would tell you I don't know.
I'm thinking a lot these few days, hoping that an answer would come upon me. I don't know what happened, but I guess it just happened. As I read through the letters, it just dawned unto me that, maybe, just maybe, I'm just not good enough. Just maybe, there was never meant to be a happy ever after. I used to believe everything people told me, I guess.. what we say in those moments became lies when everything else ended.
All I can say is, a thousand times of sorry(or more). You used to thank God for bringing me into your life. But I guess, not anymore. Those moments and memories that were kept, has be buried under the tiring times of studying, training, exams, and whatever nots. Well, I guess it was those things, that were said, that made me happy(for awhile). Now, all that's left, is just, pieces of paper, and a broken promise.
Thinking.. makes one feel nostalgic. All the questions, such as "What if.. I didnt do that, would everything be better?", "What if, I made a wrong choice?" and stuff. I guess, I only have myself to blame. I'm tired of thinking, but I can't stop. I guess caring for you, has already became a habit. I guess, time will heal all wounds. Maybe, it IS the best way. or maybe not.