.Monday, September 21, 2009 ' 4:55 AM Y
tricia said,
Someone tell me what to do.
I guess, I was foolish enough to think that I could be there for every single one of my friends when they need me. But come to think of it, I guess dont deserve to be there for them. I don't know, I'm glad that I was outside today, and at the same time hoped that I didnt go out at all. Firstly, I'm glad because usually, when I'm outside, I don't cry, even if I wanted to. Secondly, I wished that I was at home,so I can cry. I don't know, it sounds ironic I know. But I guess I just didn't want everyone to see my disappointment and sadness. So, as usual, I was putting up that smile, that tried to cover up those negative feelings.
I used to think that you would never ignore me and leave me alone worrying about you, but I guess I was wrong. I'm sorry for being so.. irritating, I guess. When you're sad, I can't do anything to help you, and even when I try, you just back away from me.
Walking in the rain was something I'd never expect myself to actually want to do. But today was special, I really just felt like, walking through that heavy rain, falling sick, and die. I don't know. Maybe it's just the way we look at things. As usual, I hope you're fine. I really don't know what to say, and how to react. I just hope that everything will return back to normal soon.
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I've found a new hobby : walking in the rain [: